Tuesday, November 21, 2006


From the bottom of my shallow heart.

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.

It's tough, exams month is. And not even for the reasons you'd expect.

Everybody is so busy, and I can't help but feel the spirit and the energy get sucked out of me.
I tend to rely on others to infect me with enthusiasm, to help me go on. To keep me on the straight and narrow, so I don't de-VAY-ate, as the Wafaks would say.

Stumbling upon the wordds of my akhi and ukhti remind me that there are healthy alternatives to the self-centred, angsty, emotional outbursts that are typical of most blogs. There are people out there who are willing to make you think, rather than just presenting you with THEIR view on life. I really can't find anything to argue with them. They do not impose or judge, but simply tell you like it is.

Take a stroll down Circling Thoughts, and you'll probably see what I mean.

We -- or maybe, I -- haven't had the time to stop for a while, and nu'min sa'ah. My final paper is nearing, when so many are already done with theirs. That also tend to suck the life out of me, just a wee bit. I'm resisting the urge to pack and spring clean, just yet. Such an itch it is, too.

And so, what a pleasant surprise it was when two of my ukhti actually stayed over to accompany my now-daily study sojourn into the early morn. One of them had just finished her exams (and graciously offered to be our cook until our last papers were done, alhamdulillah :)), and the other was studying with me.

And what an amazing thing, that from the moment they entered until the moment I woke up, a mess of blankets and beanie Assad, that all our conversations centred around our Deen.

It was something I didn't know I had craved for so long.

Just when I thought I was probably going to flail alone until I was done with 610-122, Allah s.w.t. gave me the strength and energy to go on, in the form of my sisters.

Our night was a funny mixture of the future, common friends, and chocolate cake, but I'll remember it long after that flight back home.

Maybe even long after that 'flight' back Home. InsyaAllah.

Because they reminded me just now, just where our Home really was.

'And you prefer the worldly life
While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.'
[Al-A'la, 87:16-17]

Jazakillahu khayr, ya ukhti. Syukran jazilan.
Uhibbuki fillah, abadan abada, insyaAllah <3

Wassalamualaik.

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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 9:32 am

1 comments

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Do you remember?

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.

Have you ever gone to someone's blog, and felt that in order to communicate about something else to that person, you had to comment on one of his/her posts?

I think it's just common blog-tesy.

And I must admit, my comments are a tad long. Which is why if I find something interesting, I usually refrain from comment, unless I felt it incumbent on me to pour my heart out on the topic.

I was in school debates (not to mention private ones with my little brother), and though I wasn't a very good debater (I never made it past the preliminary round, mainly due to nerves and ill-preparation), it's in my blood, and I tend to stick too hard to my points.

Ah, Dale Carnegie. You've taught me something good, this past week. Thanks be to Allah.

But that's not the main topic I was going to go on about.

I was reading MLH's entry on the end of his pre-U, and it brought back memories of AUSMAT 16. I haven't had time to digest everything we've been through -- how much we all have come from way back then. Now I have, and I don't blame some of my friends for being defensive and so averse to change.

It's tough, admitting that you've lost touch with the people who once held claim on your heart . It's tough, admitting that promises once thought would last forever have crumbled in the desert brought along by this awful drought.

It's tough to not know anymore the people who once lived right next to you and shared your dreams, life, memories.

This is just a bit of what I wrote in the comment box, pending approval (I know it's a tad long-ish, but like I said, I'm awful at comments):

'Salaam.

I feel it incumbent upon me to comment about your post:

And so I would have to say that I felt the same. I was even, admittedly, tearful at the thought of leaving the 198 people who made up AUSMAT 16. I loved the lecturers. I loved the idiotic pranks we would get to. I love the fact that unlike high school and other colleges I know, there were no (visible) cliques in my preU, and that these people were all so different, yet so accepting of each other.

The people I knew were geared to succeed.

Back then I had a different scale of judgement, of course. My closest pals, I called my Pseudo-Family. We had ranks, and I was Ucu. We had 'family dinners' weekly, and I would incessantly bully my 'big brothers', and take full advantage of KakChik's immense level of tolerance and kindness.

The times have passed now, and the Pseudo-Family is, admittedly, all but defunct. Having changed so much ourselves, we no longer see much common ground that would make us want to RELATE.

Some people from AUSMAT choose to stay away from the past. Some people would say that I'm one of them.

I once said that I couldn't understand why people drank coffee, when there was earl grey right in front of them. Now I have a cafe-radar stuck right under my nose, and I am crazy for Aussie coffee.

I used to be one of those people who said "I will never forget you." Seems like I've broken my promise. It seems as if I don't even care. Truth is, I feel that I just forgot. Humans, insani - it's only natural to forget.

And so I read your article with a bit of nostalgia and a bit of cynicism. Because I think I'm living you and your friends' future.

We view the future through rose-tinted granny glasses, and forget that the truth is more painful, and that it comes in greys, not psychedelic technicolour.'


And another thing I forgot to mention that most times, we have to change. We should never be scared of it. 'Change makes the world go round'.

And oft times, it scared the heck out of us.

But it's only the natural order of things, the sunnatullah. The diff is, the way you deal with it.

Will you tolerate it, or pretend it never happened?

Won't you let change let you grow?

I will keep our memories intact. Hopefully, I won't forget that, insyaAllah.

"It's now time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know.

Take your time
Think a lot
Think of everything you've got
For you may still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not."

-Yusuf Islam's Father and Son-

Wassalamualaik.

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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 10:18 am

2 comments

Friday, October 13, 2006


Why the hijab?

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.

This fellow blogger I know has come out of his shell with the most interesting things to say. Maybe all that time spent away from his old blog has created something of a surge in thoughts.

Allahu'alam.

But let's all help him, here. As a 'curious male', he wants to know why people wear the hijab.

I welcome some people to even tell him why they don't wear the hijab. Add some perspective to the issue.

And I'm only promoting the link because I've thought of it for some time. But I haven't had the gall or maybe the right words, to actually ask the questions.

And although what I would say would be rather different from his words, I think the underlying message is pretty much the same.

Only I am too chicken to get the flak and sound all better-than-thou about the issue. :D

Wassalamualaikum.

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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 3:36 pm

1 comments

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Taking a gander. THE gander. A gander.

Assalamualaikum.

This is my friend (?). He is a blogger.

He is currently in LITW, doing the infamous torture known as the SAM, in which they have to endure painstaking hours of SSABSA.

Ah, but life seems to be built on stacks of acronyms sometimes.

And even though it's been more than 10 years since we've even been in the same room, it's still good to know that semi-great minds will always stumble on the same inane things, and share them (un)equally amongst them.

A famous line from the Sisterhood movie comes to mind.

I enjoyed this piece of enduring sarcasm. MLH, congratulations on mastering the highly Ostolian trait which is sarcasm in the spoken/written word.

You're almost there.

Cheers, mate.

Wassalamualaikum.

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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 3:58 pm

2 comments