Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Walking the earth.
The flowers bid me into Spring
And your absence clings to me
Like the scent of the buzzing creatures
Keeping busy and awake
Only you are busy
Answering questions that I fear
And though your sleep extends beyond existence
Your loneliness is terrifying
Even to me
Not alone, but afraid
Reminded of callous pasts
And mistaken fortunes
And reckless selfishness
And the now
And the here
And tomorrow
(Will it happen?)
And my future
(Is it written, or does my memory end
Here?)
The shaking goes back and forth and
Back and forth
Amidst the tears
Flowing for the eyes they shall not see again
And the love they will not hear expressed
Except for whispers in the wind
Tricks of the memory for the heart
They do not mean to call you back
But to bid your journey well
But to grant you Love and Light
That your solitude is less painful
Than ours shall be
I tread upon the living soil
Caressing the shrieks of the dead
Crying out for past regret
Labels: poetry, spring
this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 11:27 pm
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Friday, December 08, 2006
Oxymoron
There is an internal struggle within
Where there lies truth and reluctance to face it
Where there lies facts and the tendency to turn the other way
And where there lies needs
With wants up-tipping the scale.
People call for 'balance'
Such narcissistic, greedy dreams do not exist
For yes, the decisions are extreme to the commoner
For the ends are extremes
And the means are the same.
Left and right
Right and wrong
The greys are few
And man-made out of the passion
To engulf this oyster with disgusting relish
And devour it whole
You deserve constipation, and no less.
And I --
I will be first to admit that
I still tread the lower tunnel at times
While glancing up at the upper highway
Of assurance
For the pleasure of the One.
I have been given the moderate path
(The upper highway whose turn I may miss)
Which is filled with 'extremes'
And which may seem ironic to you
But is right, you see
For there is no escaping oxymorons
And there are no extremes
As painful as prejudice
And the reluctance to overcome it.
So you see
I am struggling to extinguish the greys within me
And set my stereovision clear
Let there be two ways to me:
Haq
or
Batil.
Labels: poetry
this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 7:04 pm
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Sunday, October 29, 2006
Metamorphosis.
How much I have changed in these past few months
And now I await the days with a mixture of measured countenance and incalculable trepidation
Until I meet them face-to-face, mano-a-mano
Once again.
Because I fear of being unrecognizable
My thoughts and principles altered immeasurably
So much so that I doubt fingers could be pointed any which way
I am scared
I admit that.
I am afraid of changing
To who I once was, almost overnight
Because that would deny me everything I have learnt
Everything I now know and hold true
Everything that makes up
The me I live with today
I feel comfortable knowing her
Because I know she’s headed somewhere
Maybe she’s doing so slowly, but she knows where she’s going
She’s getting there
Her heart is eyeing the Destination, she feels –
I feel, I mean.
And so
When you see me
And you don’t know me
(Anymore)
Remember who I was
Cherish it in memory, if you must
But know that who I am now is who I want to be
That it was never forced onto me
But instead I forced, ploughed, pushed my way through
To be who I am
This person you now see
The person you do not know
(Yet).
The person who will not willingly follow the crowd
The person who will ask questions in manifold
The person who will look different, dress different, talk different
And might even stop in her walking tracks to smile a bemused grin to herself
Every now and then
Which may irritate you
You must be forewarned.
And so I admit it –
I am scared to go home a changed person
Like a butterfly out of its little mystifying, plain (maybe even ugly)
Coccoon
Yet looking back, I do not see my life as a caterpillar
But I remember my metamorphosis with fondness
And if I will live with these wings for the rest of my life
Then live
I will.
Labels: homesickness, poetry
this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 12:53 pm
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