Tuesday, November 21, 2006


From the bottom of my shallow heart.

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.

It's tough, exams month is. And not even for the reasons you'd expect.

Everybody is so busy, and I can't help but feel the spirit and the energy get sucked out of me.
I tend to rely on others to infect me with enthusiasm, to help me go on. To keep me on the straight and narrow, so I don't de-VAY-ate, as the Wafaks would say.

Stumbling upon the wordds of my akhi and ukhti remind me that there are healthy alternatives to the self-centred, angsty, emotional outbursts that are typical of most blogs. There are people out there who are willing to make you think, rather than just presenting you with THEIR view on life. I really can't find anything to argue with them. They do not impose or judge, but simply tell you like it is.

Take a stroll down Circling Thoughts, and you'll probably see what I mean.

We -- or maybe, I -- haven't had the time to stop for a while, and nu'min sa'ah. My final paper is nearing, when so many are already done with theirs. That also tend to suck the life out of me, just a wee bit. I'm resisting the urge to pack and spring clean, just yet. Such an itch it is, too.

And so, what a pleasant surprise it was when two of my ukhti actually stayed over to accompany my now-daily study sojourn into the early morn. One of them had just finished her exams (and graciously offered to be our cook until our last papers were done, alhamdulillah :)), and the other was studying with me.

And what an amazing thing, that from the moment they entered until the moment I woke up, a mess of blankets and beanie Assad, that all our conversations centred around our Deen.

It was something I didn't know I had craved for so long.

Just when I thought I was probably going to flail alone until I was done with 610-122, Allah s.w.t. gave me the strength and energy to go on, in the form of my sisters.

Our night was a funny mixture of the future, common friends, and chocolate cake, but I'll remember it long after that flight back home.

Maybe even long after that 'flight' back Home. InsyaAllah.

Because they reminded me just now, just where our Home really was.

'And you prefer the worldly life
While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.'
[Al-A'la, 87:16-17]

Jazakillahu khayr, ya ukhti. Syukran jazilan.
Uhibbuki fillah, abadan abada, insyaAllah <3

Wassalamualaik.

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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 9:32 am

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