Monday, December 18, 2006


I want to write.

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.


I was blog-hopping as I regularly am, and I was stopped in my tracks by a story posted by my fellow blogger (go hunt the tale down Circling Thought by yourself).

It has been so long since I sat down to write something. I mean, really write something I could be satisfied of.

Ever since I learned how to read, I had started writing. There are several book from my early years, where proof of my writing by sheer mimickry is still evident. So I suppose that though I was late in realizing my natural gravitation to the written word (thanks to much prodding from my dear Weili), it was always there, waiting to come out.

Right now it feels like I'm being barraged by inspiring and aspiring writers. A quick stroll in the local bookstore, and I see the Cerekarama-type romance novels given cute, modern bookcovers. I pick up the paper, and I read a review on a book about a novella by a Malaysian teenager who had attempted something along the lines of Cabot's Princess Diaries (which I can't believe I fell for hook, line and sinker). I look out the window along PJ old-town, and I see a billboard for a movie based on a fantasy novel written by a mere kid.

It's enough to make anyone with literary aspirations and a sore case of writer's block frustrated.

Back when being famous was all the rage, I decided that I would write a novel. And actual novel, mind you, with chapters, and credits, and all that. Not to forget the current must-have of pop culture name-dropping.

I was going to write about the main plot of the story, but it sounds so contrived, unoriginal and silly that I've decided I won't even bother embarrassing myself.

But I take it that maybe a few people have read it, considering I even put up a blog for it, hoping to be discovered by some talent-hunting publishing house from the States.

Yeah. I truly was that naive.

Still, I have to admit that the narrative was much better, and sounds far more natural than anything I so much as attempt nowadays. It makes you wonder, how much self-restraint is enough?

I like to think that I've grown up, somewhat (although my parents, upon listening in to my first argument with my brother when I got back, prefer to disagree), and true to nature, my mind has made itself up about a lot of things. It contains a whole lot more principles now that insyaAllah, I will try hard not to jinx.

Along with this new turn of events, I've realized that writing has to be more than just a means to be rich. It's more than just a way to be famous.

It's about carrying the burden named 'responsibility' as best as you can.

If I can scoff at horrid novels and half-hearted writing, then I sure don't want to be all that.

I want to carry a message.
I want to help educate.
I want to set things clear.
I want to stimulate thought.
(A little argument may result of this, but a little, I can handle.)
I want to spark change.
And oh Allah, I don't want to be a hypocrite. Na'uzubillah.

(O Allah, prevent me from doing something for the wrong reasons altogether -- please let my niyyah be pure. Amin.)

I just wish I knew what I could write about.

I am very welcome to ideas right now.

Help is very much appreciated.

Wassalam.


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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 1:10 am

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