Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Of tears.

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.

There have been many, many tears lately.

Some of them due to stress (exams!!), part of it is due to personal issues, such as friends (argh) and family (Aiman, nanti Aunty Awin bawak chocolate, okay?)...

And maybe part of it is due to hormones.

But the One who Created tears is Allah. And He will bring to you what is best for you, He will ask of you what is best for you, and He will befall upon you what is best for you. Because He Loves us that much, you see.

'Nothing is better than what has been.'

When I was younger and I got scolded by one (or both) of my parents (And undoubtedly with due reason), I would usually break into tears. And I usually did so behind their backs, because my mother had once asked me,

"Why are you crying?"

And so I said,
"I'm crying because I'm upset."

And then she said,
"You're crying because you're upset. You're angry, aren't you?"

She gave an ominous sigh.
"You're not crying out of regret of your actions. You still don't get it. All you can see if how you've been wronged by your father and me."

She looked me straight in the eye.

"If you fail to see just where you've erred, all our scolding, and all your tears will amount to nothing."

The uncanny thing was, she was right. Always.

I was mad at her. I was furious. All I could see was that my parents had a vendetta against me, and that I wasn't to blame -- couldn't they see that? Why was I always the victim, the vindicted, and never the vindicated?

Ah, I was very much into drama during those years. Come to think of it, not much has changed. And I blame Hollywood.

Back to the topic. What was it again?
Right.

I used to see tears as a show of emotion. It was a sign of weakness and lack of self-control. It was a tool of self-expression. And I don't know if you've noticed, but crying, weeping, sobbing -- okay, maybe not sobbing -- makes you feel so much better afterwards.

Don't believe me?

"Go ahead; just cry and let it all out."

Try it.

Crying pulls a weight off your chest. And even though I wasn't very wara' as a kid, I usually found that as I cried, I always called for God.

"O God, why don't they understand me? Why should I feel so unhappy? Why?"

There is a hadith Qudsi, which stated something about how the angels asked Allah of a woman who had been supplicating for a very long time in front of the Kaabah. Usually, the prayers of the sincere in front of the Kaabah would be granted. But this woman had been suffering for so long.

"O Allah, why won't you relieve her misery?"

And Allah replied something along the lines of,
"Should I grant that, would she remember Me?"

When I heard the hadith over the radio, I was struck by how true it was.
We usually never remembered our Maker until when we were struck by disaster.

Don't believe me? Look for footage of the victims of the New Orleans hurricane.

Those who weren't armed with weaponry were likely clutching the bible or a cross (salib) or both.

And we forget that Allah really misses our remembrance of Him. He knows us better than we do, and made the fard prayers obligatory on us, because humans really just want to worship Him. We're always looking for an Ultimate Answer, a Greater Power, a Force (no sith jokes here, please).

'And I did not create the jinn and the mankind except to worship Me.'
[Surah adh-Dhariyyat, 51:56]

And we forget that really, tears help mould the soul. Just like a steady trickle of water kneads the toughest rock, tears weakens the hardest of us, and makes us sensitive. Sensitive to and towards the people around us, sensitive of the state of our iman, sensitive of the happenings of the world, sensitive of our environment (i.e. what goes on around us, because no one, and especially God, likes a self-absorbed little twit) -- sensitive towards all of God's creations.

And that would ultimately bring us closer to God.

What have we to lose?

So cry. Don't be ashamed of those tears that are most treasured to our Maker. Tears are no sign of weakness, or lack of self-control. Rather, you are admitting that you need help. Doesn't humility require strength?

Cry because you fear His punishment over all the bad deeds you've done. Cry because you remember all the ways He's blessed you with His Love.

And even if you cannot cry because of Him, if your heart aches, just cry for Him.

Because He misses you.

Allahu'alam bissawab.

Wassalamualaik.

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this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 6:23 pm

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