Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Jotting from between Bouverie and Victoria.
Yesterday was hectic. And so was the day before.From packing to saying (insyaAllah, temporary) goodbyes to shopping for the people back home (coming soon to an airport near you!), there hasn't been much time for reflection.
Sure, your mind may ramble with incoherent thoughts, barely making sense from one insight to the other. It really requires some show of will power to actually sit down and muhasabah -- maybe even put those slivers of ideas into words, as seems to work for me.
Yet, it seems, I haven't had the time. Where has it all gone to?
And please, don't check with my bank. They'll only be too keen to answer that question.
After I had finished packing and clearing out the house (with a sense of sheer desperation) and had lugged everything onto Qaswak, Ummu Faiqah, Caah and I decided on an impromptu dinner at a fish and chippery, right at Port Melbourne, which I had never been. And so without even bothering to unpack, we opened up the trusty Melway and made our way to the Port Melbourne just in time for sunset.
MasyaAllah, the sight was a lovely one to behold. True, having fish and chips under close observation by seagulls is a bit unnerving, but we soon ignored those prying, beady little eyes when Ummu Faiqah asked us about how we felt upon returning to LITW.
While Caah listened quietly and patiently, as I have now discovered she is wont to do, I blurted out long sentences of unfinished questions as I wrangled with the right words to shape my thoughts into something somewhat tangible. Ummu Faiqah has always been one to explain earnestly and passionately (but maybe not at her fullest while driving), and she answered so many of my questions last night, it's amazing we did not get lost on the way back.
I won't write down a dialogue of our discussion -- that isn't what I'm going after, since I think our voices, peppered with insiders' terms and jokes and whatnot won't help explain anything to this blog's audience. What struck me as we unloaded my things from Qaswak's 'hump' was about something I'm certain everyone can relate to: friends.
I know I'm not a very good friend. I can be a pain when I'm under stress or infleunce of hormones, I'm not terribly eloquent in either of the two languages I can speak, I have scarce common sense, I'm messy, and I'm selfish.
Talk about self-confession.
But I have just realized that the person you are really is defined, somewhat, by the company you keep. Now, I'm not insinuating that us humans are all drones who only stick to our kind, and no one else -- that we prefer people who are just like us and alienate everyone else. I'm just saying that more often than not, the only people you can truly stand for long periods of time are the ones who don't really hold conflict with everything you believe in. Friends are optional; the love you share is not forced upon you through long, painful hours together, or even blood ties.
As the saying goes, 'You can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family'.
As I've learnt over the past few years since leaving high school, friends are the extensions of you. They will be the people who have stood by you through everything; sometimes they are unexpected, but upon closer inspection, they become tried, tested and true. They show how far your limits are by the things they do that do not irritate you; they say things that have crossed your mind more than once, and you usually share a common passion.
Difficult as it is for those who believe that the people I hang out with 'blend into each other, the poor conforming beings', let me tell you that we're all as different as the colours of the rainbow, once you learn to look past the superficial stuff, like what we wear, or our togetherness as a unit. Many of them still surprise me; alhamdulillah, I'm learning something new everyday.
We share a common passion and a common love for our Maker and the Deen He gave us, and that Love forces us to overlook any differences of mind and principle. We were made different and unique, and our Love forces us to accept that as well. We embrace each other's strengths, support each other's weaknesses, and upon request, help fix each other's vices.
(I do not find compulsive nail-biting a vice, by the way. Take note, Suzuka.)
And I suppose the best sort of friendship litmus test is when they will tell you what is good for you, whether or not you like to hear it. When it's important, when it's needed, they will always be there to remind you.
When you fall, they're ever waiting to catch you and help prop you back up on your feet.
And so this is another tribute to my friends, or more specifically, my ukhti --
For always reminding me.
For showing me what it's like to be a friend.
For accepting me as I am, and for correcting me when I err.
For never judging me, or let me judge anyone.
For being that bit of buoyance when I feel like sinking under the weight.
For preparing me for what lies ahead.
Alhamdulillah for our friendship, and may it last through our lifetimes. All the way into the next, insyaAllah.Salaam mujahadah for summer 2006.