Monday, August 28, 2006


Bits of random.

Assalamualaikum wrh. wbt.

I am not feeling too hot...

... and it has nothing to do with my home-made lunch (spinach noodles in 'hentam' gravy... bro Yasser, do not take the name literally).

I'm just awfully homesick.

I don't usually rant on about my personal problems. Okay, maybe I did once. But then I found that it was out of order, and decided to remove it (sorry again, bro Yasser).

But now. Maybe now I can rant. A bit.

Things here are confusing. There are politics, psychological tricks, and maybe even some human resource management involved (guess what my next Management assignment is about? :)).

It's all so tiring.

That, combined with all the hangat-hangat issues propping up like mushrooms after a heavy shower, back in Malaysia, makes me feel a little out of touch with reality. Siti's marriage feels surreal. Mawi is in a pitiful state. His fiancee is having a media ball. Israel has ordered German missiles with a precision rate that I am scared to memorize.

Do you know that there is a lot of bad going on in the world out there, not very far from your reach?

I know it, at least. Although the trivial things are much more attractive and less shocking to the nerve system. Doesn't it make you feel bad, when you purposely roll over the new on the Iraqi deathtoll to read up on Tom Cruise's latest horrible public faux pas?

I cannot cry while reading the news again. Or while watching it. I have had enough of swollen eyes at 7 am when I am rushing for Genetics & Evolution at 8 am. Looking forlorn is slightly difficult to explain.

I cannot help it, though.

I talk with my dad about my many assignments, but it's not the same as having him here, talking me through the whole process as we drive around PJ and KL on his many errands.

I want to tag on to my mother to her religious classes at the local mosque, where I am instantly conforted and engulfed by the maternal strengths of all the aunties combined.

I want to yell at brother before giving him his souvenirs. He doesn't talk to me often enough on the phone as it is. I have to yell at someone, and have someone yell at me back.

Oh dear. Don't cry. Not now, not in the uni computer lab with 30 other people present.

I want to meet my cousin Yusuf, and my uncle Yusuf, and my nephew Aiman, and my cousin Aiman, and my cousins the Adibs and the Sitis and the Farahs and the Omars and the SA/AS's and the Saws and the entire entourage. SMSs do not cut it at all.

I want to feel safe and warm. At home. Which, as much as Melbourne is familiar to me, it simply cannot beat.

Sigh. Global Ecology with Doc Ian Thomas soon. At least he's offered to look for the appropriate lighting and soundtracks for the lectures on biomes. That would be nice.

And the trek in the RBG tomorrow should be nice as well.

"Surely, with each difficulty there is ease; With each difficulty there is ease." (94: 5-6)

Ah. Flowers from the Quran for all. Spring is approaching.

Wassalamualaikum.

this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 2:34 pm

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