Saturday, April 29, 2006


Sacrifices big and small.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Disclaimer: Please ignore my horrendous format last time around. Clearly, I wasn't thinking very much; I just wrote. I typed out half right before the midnight road trip to the Great Ocean Road (which was wonderful, thank you sisters), and finished the rest when I got back nearly 24 hours later. So yes. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe it was my usual lack of common sense. InsyaAllah, I will not be so horrid to read anymore. And may I soon develop a self-restraining word limit. InsyaAllah...

It's a wonderfully cold morning. It's breezy and there are traces of mist outside my window. i just saw a flock of birds flying together, subhanAllah, and it reminded me of how they remember our Maker more often than I do (24:41). Alhamdulillah, as I sit down to write this, they helped give me the inspiration, wallahu'alam.

Recently, I have been thinking more and more about how hard it would be to go back to Malaysia. I mean, I miss it. But when I think of the people and the life I have here, my heart gets split in two.

First, there's the weather. It's nice and cold here, so covering up (i.e. menutup aurat) under all those layers is more of a necessity. I mean, here, we wear pants under skirts for insulation purposes, plus, there is less risk of exposing oneself. I can even wear multiple layers of tudung (i.e. headscarves) without feeling the least bit uncomfortable. What am I going to do with my lovely, long, warm winter coats once I'm in Malaysia?

Sigh #1.

Secondly, there's the whole issue of the Israeli apartheid boycott. I've only just become inspired to try and not purchase stuff from the parties that give money to help destroy my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine, but it's hard, even here, with the multitude of local brands. LIke sister Aishah said just last night, "Yang mahal diorang, yang murah pun diorang." This was what she mentioned after I opened the pantry and realised that I had just gotten Kellogg's cereal (yes, people, it's a no-no). She sympathized with my plight. It's tough trying to be rid of Cadbury, Nestle (the yoghurt!), Carrefour and KFC. But let me toss you this little nugget: What will we answer when our Creator asks us, on the day of judgement, "What did you do to help your Muslim creed?"

Kantoi. Tak nak lah camtu...

Sigh #2.

Which brings us to the actual topic: Sacrifice. Above my oft-neglected books, stuck with scotch tape on the wall, is a leaflet called Sacrifice: The Makings of a Muslim, provided during the Malaysian Sisters' Nite in Frank Tate (the uni surau lah). Therefore, let me mulakan topic with a quote from it:

"We are perhaps living in a time when living for Islam is more difficult than dying for it."
-- Abdul Malik Mujahid --

Now that I'm out from the confusing Malaysian scene, I trust that I have been placed by Allah in good hands to help my pursuit of fixing my heart and my faith in the right path. Kiri dan kanan, I have people looking out for me. When I asked questions, they did their best to answer without confusing me. And now that bit by bit, the steps towards it becomes clearer, they're all trying their best to check up on me and help me understand better.

Thank you, ukhti. (I don't know the plural for it, but let's just say I mean the plural :))

Before I came here, I was so anxious to be rid of Malaysia's confundity. Islam is not really Islam, back home. It's mere interpretations of what they want seen in Islam. Maybe it isn't too far a stretch to say that we've become so used to being Muslim, we see nothing wrong in compromising Allah's words for our own interpretation of importance. For example, sometimes, adat diutamakan daripada what Allah asks of us, e.g. we don't cover up our aurat in front of our male cousins who are of age. Cousins are seen as family. I mean, they are, but the boundaries set by Islam are thrown to the wind, in the name of family ties.

Sometimes, we're made to choose family over religion. In both big and small ways. Like how people find it hard to revert to Islam. Well, that's a big example. A smaller one would be where you're asked to salam cium tangan your uncle by marriage. You know, not related by blood? According to the straight fiqh rulings, mana boleh. But then you see. Islam is not practised in its syumul (complete) sense. How can like this one?

Pening, pening...

And because of that pening-ness, when we come to a place where Islam IS practiced secara syumul, us Malaysians get confused, because it's not what we're used to.

Here's a basic example:

There's a term used for the issue of relationships between those of the opposite sex, called ikhtilat. In Islam, all the rules concerning ikhtilat are meant to prevent fitnah (hearsay) afflicting all parts. It is meant to protect the modesty of all parties. It's meant to protect the hearts from missing something/someone other than Allah, which will usually lead the person astray, make you restless, etc.

It's not like I've never had a crush before. So let's say that I do have authority on what fitnah of the heart can do to a person.

Islam promotes fast marriage aka kahwin awal, which may seem extreme to some, but women who are of good character are the ones you'd want to marry anyway, so being married early shows that you have good character.

Pause and breathe if I'm confusing you. [For those with questions, I can be contacted here]

BUT, we grow up in Malaysia with the Western ideals of femininity (this coming from someone who used to go: Womyn Power! as a child all the time), and the ability of mixing freely with members of the opposite sex is seen as something empowering. I know I used to find it empowering. I mean, I know that we shouldn't be so close to each other. But then we dismiss these rules. After all, guys are interesting people. Hilarious and crude.

So when we first came here, and we see the brothers not looking us in the eye, and giving space to us all the time, and not talking to us unless necessary, we didn't see it as a mark of respect for us, but rather, as something strange. I'm not used to being shy around guys. But now I am. Mostly because they respect me so much, it makes me embarrased if I don't try to make the same effort and show respect towards them.

Stop if you don't get me.

But what I'm trying to say is this: We (and I'm using the general reference to all my Muslim friends here) know the rules, and the limits set by our Maker. Surely they're what's best for us. But do we stop to think and try to comprehend why it is made to be so? Because this religion of ours is made for people who think, and not for those who follow blindly (sila buka al-Quran dan cari dalil yang begitu banyaknya tentang keperluan berfikir bagi umat Islam).

But do we really follow it, the best we can? Do we try and understand the boundaries set for us? Or do we just neglect it and say, "It's not relevant anymore?"

As for me, well... I'm trying my best. I'm trying to fix my intention (niat) all the time. All the small things I might have to leave behind -- all the transgressions that I am so used to -- will take time and effort. But they are sacrifices on my part. It's only part of my responsibility as a Muslim. It's between what I deem is best, as I move closer towards the ultimate Love -- the love my Lord has for me.

The love our Lord has for every single one of us.

Sister Aishah says that it takes time. It takes effort, and a tremendous amount of will. But insyaAllah, if you do it for Allah, what is a tub of yoghurt, anyway (reference to my 'sacrifice' of Nestle's Finding Nemo banana yoghurt tubs)?

One step at a time. And may Allah help us all with our greater jihad with our nafs.

Wassalam.

P.S:- I once told a friend not too long ago, that 'those fighting in the way of Allah should not sigh!'. Well, friend, I stand corrected, as always. And you should consider seeing the situation here as it is, and not rely on your interpretation of the news you get. No one quite gets the picture unless they're in it, I've learnt. The method we talked about works here, but it might not work at home. Here, they try to fix the heart above all else first. Which is where it should begin, right? Sunnah is the best way, after all...
P.P.S:- If anyone within the vicinity of Melbourne city knows where I can get banana yoghurt that is not from New Zealand Naturals or Nestle or Cadbury, please let me know ASAP. I like me banana yoghurt...
Wassalam.

this has been a rant by Syazwina Saw at 10:40 am

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